God's Grace Through My Children
On a day where tempers are high and patience is low, I inevitably become wild mom roaring her terrible roar, gnashing her terrible teeth, and showing her terrible claws. Where does it all begin? With me. My kids don't start the day with bad tempers and a low supply of patience (usually). I actually do not either. But when the mornings don't go as planned and the day isn't turning out how I envisioned, I become the wild thing. Yesterday, I was upset because it was suddenly 2 o'clock and my son wasn't yet down for his afternoon nap. My daughter wanted extra mommy and Lexie time, and MY quiet time was quickly dwindling. This wasn't their fault. It was my poor planning. When we still hadn't gone outside to play by 11am, I suddenly felt like we needed to DO something to make our morning worthwhile. So I got them dressed and sunscreen applied, I loaded them up in the car, and we drove to the plant store. I needed dirt! They didn't want to go. But I had to redeem myself and my morning. Well, we didn't get dirt. This particular store only sold it in bulk. Morning. Wasted.
We came home and had our lunch picnic outside (my daughters' favorite thing right now). Finally by 2pm I was putting my son down for his nap. And by 3, my daughter was still begging for my undivided attention. But all I would think about was ME and how I needed some quiet time. So I tried to rush through our "mommy and Lexie time" and sent her off to her room for personal quiet time.
Backfired. She kept coming to me. Kept asking when it was over. Had to go potty. Needed my help. More more more. Time time time. Gone gone gone. It was over. Through the whole thing I was sarcastic, I hurt her feelings, I got upset. She cried. When the day came to a close, I thought "how could she possibly love me. I am killing her from the inside out. I'm screwing up and I wouldn't even love me if it were me!". But guess who needed extra mommy snuggles when it came time to being tucked in? Guess who told me she loved me more than the size of the universe? Guess who wanted to snuggle with me all night long? I'm pretty sure her Love Language is quality time.
If you're wondering what God's grace looks like, that's it. You can get wild and mess up and roar and gnash, but God will always love you. There is nothing too big or too wild you can do to loose out on Jesus' love. His grace is so deep and so wide that you will never run out of it. And I thank God for that, because without it, our sin filled lives will consume us and eat us alive. But you can rest knowing that you are forgiven. You are loved. You are saved. For our God is merciful + good + compassionate. (Psalm 116:5)
Have you had a day that you tried to redeem by doing something that caused the exact opposite of redemption? Oh, dear friend, I have many more of these stories. But...another time.
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